脫節

時間過得真快。轉下眼又一個星期。如果不加時去做我怕沒有時間完成我應該完成的東西。 有想過在Twitter 開個account. 怕自己同世界越來越脫節。但我情願脫離“是非之地” ﹐like “是非book”LOL! Sometimes I just rather focus on what I have to do than mind other people’s business, except the people that I care about. And if I do want to care about people, I rather see them face to face. But if I have to see them face to face, it takes time. If it takes time away, then I don’t have enough time to finish other important things. Wow, such a chain and burden!

遺失的遺撼

主呀﹐求您remove我這種心情。我覺得真的很無辜。點解這樣事情要發生在我身上﹖還要是我最珍貴的東西。我以后都覺得這個是一個彌補不到的遺憾﹗如果我grandma 知道了她會有咩反應呀﹖主呀﹐有無奇跡出然呀﹖我究竟做錯D咩呀﹖這個算不算是punishment for my carelessness? If it is, this is the worst punishment ever. 我心好似穿-左個洞。因為我沒有好好保管住親愛送俾我的禮物。First it was my sister’s camera, now it’s my grandma’s necklace. 不是它的價值﹐是代表的心意﹗

Maybe 這條鏈是代表我奶奶﹖If I’d already feel horrible for losing something important from my grandma, who’s very important to me, I should feel even worst if I lose my grandma (I pray not too soon). 好似這條咁重要的鏈﹐我一唔見﹐就喊0左幾日。The reason that I regret so much it’s because it’s the love behind it. What if I lose my grandma herself? How would I feel?

有的時後﹐不會太理會或珍惜。但不在的時候﹐就會好心痛。這個是一個好重的提醒。叫我不要常常take things or even people for granted. 否則﹐發生D咩事的話﹐就後悔莫及﹗

不知要幾時先平復這種痛苦的心情﹐但我交托主身上。而我要學得功課就是﹕好好保管自己財物﹐更家重要的是﹕珍惜身邊的人。


Listening to: 夜機 (陳慧嫻)

I would love to go to other places...

I'd like to know what is it like to be in another parts of the world, to experience something different, exciting, other than my ordinary life.

I don't just want to go to tourist places or attractions; I want to at least get a taste what is it like to live there (short term), to see other corners of the world.

I would like not only to go just for my own fun. I'd like to go to contribute (as best as I can) to the places I go to.

I'm not only wanting the pictures being taken filled with the beautiful scenery, but also filled with other people way of life.

I'd like to be out there in the world... And when I'm out there, I'd like to appreciate the people and the things I'm already having in life. : )



When will it happen?

A productive day

What a productive day today! I’d jogged in the morning while doing precious prayers. Then I went to visit and spent time with my uncle & cousins. After coming home, I washed my dirty bags. Afterward I rest a little; woke up, gave my sister a nice haircut. Then the rain came suddenly, I rushed to collect the clothes… enjoyed some music time, showered, packed up some stuff in the closet, and set up for dinner… texted some friends, played some piano, and now writing this while preparing to sleep. I should pat myself in the shoulder LOL!

Even though it doesn’t seem like I’d achieved something great, like worked to earn money, or study for an important exam, but I realized that even these little things that I’ve done still counts. Because of these little things, it makes up life. Even a life without going out these working can also be very productive, depending on how to plan, and use the time. I just hope that I can use my day to the fullest everyday.

P.S - Anxious waiting for the result of an exam to come out. I hope that I can pass with flying colors. : )

I hope to get another application started. It has been dragging too long!

Out with the pain, in with the excitement! : )

After the quick treatment from the hospital ER, the excruciating pain that I bore for a week is almost over! Now it's the time to make sure the wounds are recover well, while earning myself more time to rest at home. : P Thank God that everything went quick and smooth (though quite painful) in the hospital, unlike my past hospital experiences... I really thank God that through this, I did see the care from my family, and the need to also care for their feelings no matter what condition that I'm in...

Anyways, I've decided this summer is going to be a little different than in the past. Without an acquired summer position, I've decided to try something new. Something different, possibly something discreet, until almost everything start falling into place. At first, I was anxious and uncertain whether it'll be an abundant summer, like I always hope it'd be. I would call this a "preparatory summer", where I'd spend most of my time, preparing. : P

I realize that there are so many loopholes in different areas. Thus, I pray to learn how to fill in these loopholes as much as I can handle. Of course, with God's wisdom.

Thus, in my conclusion, like any summer expectation in the past, I pray that this summer can also be productive, memorable, and exciting. : )


Cheers! :D

負累

I think I am a burden to my family. 我唔想成為家人的負累。我知我年幾不少了。在這個年齡﹐我應該在這個社會工作。每當人問我幾時畢業﹐“你不是畢業了嗎” ﹖ “你現在讀什麼“﹖等等﹐好像有支針刺進我心。因為我知道我讀書這麼多年﹐我現在應該出來養家。為什麼我現在不是呢﹖有些人覺得我繼續進修是件好事﹐因為我的學歷就會比一伴大學生(Bachelor)高些小。但當他們知道我讀什麼的時候﹐他們就可能覺得不是什麼大不了。有時我會想如果當初我不是選了音樂為我的大學科﹐可能我已找到了一份朝9晚5的工作。但現在我正在讀書﹐而且我以讀了許多年﹐連我都想著我會幾時畢業呢﹖我知道我會大概幾時畢業﹐但感覺很長遠。就算我畢了業﹐可以保証我立刻找到工作嗎﹖我真的會做我讀的這行嗎﹖

雖然我爸媽不出聲﹐他們也沒有催束我快點畢業﹐但我知他們也有擔心。理由上我這麼大了應該已出來工作。就當他們不解意﹐繼續供我讀書﹐養我﹐我都已覺得不可意思和解意﹐因為我不想成為他們的負累。我想為個家出一份力。這麼多的朋友﹐只有我沒有正當工作。 我應該羞愧。

主呀﹐我會幾時畢業﹖我真的會找到一份我滿意的工作嗎﹖我不想成為他們的負擔﹐我幾時先可以真正養到自己﹖養個家﹖我怕當我找到份正當工作我已over 25. 我不知怎算。我不想成為家人的負累。請您開出路給我吧﹗

Danni and Lillian

I wonder how far does hate goes as an extent, and where does forgiveness lie…

Lillian has always been fearful/respectful of Danni, since Danni is older than Lillian for many years of age, and much more mature than Lillian. However, as years go by, Lillian grew less tolerant of the criticisms that Danni always made about her, whether it’s justified or not.

One day, Lillian couldn’t take Danni’s criticisms of her anymore. From then on, when she sees her, she tried to fire back at Danni, and those around them are frustrated of the confrontations that Lillian made to Danni.

It’s understandable in a way that Danni needs to see that her criticisms can hurt Lillian, yet Lillian’s response to Danni was not a way to go either, as Lillian began picking fights and arguments with her whenever she sees Danni. I wonder if hatred or something else really got into Lillian that made her reacted to Danni this way. After all, they have known each other all their lives.

And now, Lillian is trying to avoid Danni at all cost, and trying her best not to speak to her. Lillian is just saying all hurtful things about her, thinking to protect herself from the reality of getting hurt, but little does she realize that she’s actually hurting herself by hurting others around her in the process. She doesn’t have the courage to face reality and to move on.

Will Danni see what she’d done to Lillian has hurt her, and will she feel bad about it?

Is this hatred that made Lillian react the way she is? Or deep down she’s still hurt and afraid?

I wonder when Danni and Lilian are going to make up.

Danni and Lilian are two close people I know. I wonder if I can be their bridge…

Whoever’s right or wrong, I pray that they will forgive, forget, and move on.